By Jennifer Richardson
One of the things I have missed during COVID is attending weddings. Of course people have continued to get married, but the spectator sections have been basically empty. I know of a couple that married recently, with the help of a local judge, over a Zoom call.
I love weddings and all the details that surround the event that connects two lives together. I have never been to two weddings that were anything alike, but I love them all; I find myself smiling through most every ceremony.
There is just nothing like the moment when two people commit their hearts and lives to each other. We watch in love and awe as spouses appear where two regular humans are standing. I remember being single, attending weddings, looking around me and wondering, will this be me someday.
Pre-pandemic wedding seasons were fun, and we couldn’t be happier for all those who have taken their first steps down the path of a life together. But wedding seasons also seem to highlight those who have not found someone.
Weddings remind single people that they are single. And some would rather be single, and a wedding is just a reminder that they have dodged a bullet. Some are ambivalent about couplehood and are focusing on other life goals. And some have walked this road before and are deciding how much of their heart they can offer again.
To those of you that may be looking for someone to share your lifetime with, allow me to share a few words from a happily married old lady, who loves a good wedding.
I see so many people trying desperately, figuratively and literally, to squeeze themselves into the perfect mold of someone they think someone else would want. I have a secret to share. You are working so hard for something you probably won’t want to keep.
If you radiate an artificial you, the relationships you do attract will be exhausting, stressful, and based on a thinly manufactured foundation that crumbles under the slightest pressure.
There is a fear of being authentic, because it may not be what the object of your affection is seeking, and letting your guard down results in issues and conflict. It may seem as if being yourself literally turns some people away; learn to embrace this lesson. It can and will save you time and heartache in the long run.
Allow the real you, the quirky, different, passionate, genuine you to shine. There is someone out there that will be drawn inexorably to the very unique combination of qualities you possess.
And you may lose relationships along the way, but many times in life, loss is truly a gift that is only recognized in retrospect. There are no perfect people, but there is someone who may be genuinely perfect for you. That person may arrive, and you don’t want to miss out on that something real because you were busy trying to be something fake.
Above all, enjoy the life you are in. Wherever you find yourself along this timeline we call life, choose contentment. When you radiate joy and security with who you are, this is reflected into those whose paths you cross. And that reflection will resonate with the very person who will genuinely respond in kind.
And when you do find that person who helps you understand how two people can become one couple without losing even one piece of each distinct person, it will be you who is smiling at everyone during the post-pandemic wedding seasons. I can’t wait to be invited.