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Holding It All Together-The Last Time

By Amy McCollom
I have mixed emotions, and that takes me by surprise. I thought I would be relieved, but strangely, I’m a little bit sad, I think. You see, all of my babies have grown up, and this is the last year of school for any of my children. I registered my kids for school for the last time, a few days ago. Life is going by so quickly.

It was just another checkmark to make on a list of things to get done, until I was doing it and I realized it was the last time. Then reality hit me in the face, like a zooming close-up to an actor’s face in a movie; I believe I even heard a roar of wind as my senses realized that this was reality. 

I felt my heartbeat quicken in my chest, and everything around me was super intense. The ticking of the clock was louder, the purring of the cat from across the room could be heard, and my shoes got tighter. Reality got very, very real.

I guess I experienced a sudden burst of panic for a millisecond. I had not really thought or planned much for the day when the twins would be in their last year of school. I was unprepared. That is not a good thing to be when something is going to happen whether you like it or not. Always be prepared. I broke my own rule.

I am blessed, though. I have a year to deal with my feelings. Most “last times” don’t come with such a luxury. A lot of the time, you don’t even realize it was “the last time” something happened until it is over.

The older I get, the more I cherish time spent with the people I love. It is true that as you get older, time moves faster. Notice I didn’t say time feels like it moves faster. I believe it really does move faster. I believe, as Einstein did, that everything is relative. The theory goes: if at age 10, (perceiving that you will live 100 years), you will have lived one-tenth of your life. At age 90, you will have lived nine-tenths of your life. LIke a whirlpool, as time moves closer to an ending point, the distance to the end gets smaller, thus it moves faster. Here lies the reason time moves faster as we age, as we approach the end of our lives on earth, our time moves faster toward that end. It certainly makes sense to me, as it did to Einstein.

Have you ever had time to stop or go in slow motion? It is a very strange phenomenon. It has happened to me a couple of times that I can remember; most recently during a car crash. Everything went into slow motion and I heard the noise of the metal ripping my van as the other vehicle veered into the driver’s side of me, and I saw the other vehicle slide up the side of the van and tear off the mirror. I felt my head move forward and hit the steering wheel and I remember hearing myself ask my son who was in the passenger seat, what happened. It was like we were under water; it was that kind of slow motion.

When the crash was over, suddenly it was like I snapped back into my body and into time and into reality, and noise came back on loud and feelings too. During the crash I didn’t feel anything, but when it was over my head, neck, and body hurt.  I was lucky not to have sustained any serious injuries, as my van was totalled. I did have whiplash, and headaches for weeks afterward though.

They say in Heaven that time doesn’t exist. Our souls are eternal, so I think when we return home to our Maker, we won’t need time anymore; time is for human bodies and the Earth. I’m looking forward to a day when time is one less thing I have to worry about.

All of those “last times” won’t matter any more when we have an endless supply of tomorrows. The most important checkmark on our list every day should be talking to Jesus and making things right with Him. When was the last time we did that? He holds all of our todays and all of our tomorrows, and is the key to our life after this one. Please, be prepared. For somebody, this may be the last time they get reminded of this.

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