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Hook, Line and Sinker

By Tony Hooker
Greetings to all as we head into 2021.  If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s to use words like “can’t get any worse” and “ sheltering in place” and  “ I can’t believe I just ate a whole pound of cheese dip…with my fingers” sparingly.

As has become my overcomplicated, never duplicated, no one wants it replicated tradition, without further ado, here are my annual New Year’s Resolutions.  

(note: You will see repeats.  I’ve been trying to accomplish some of these things since before the Reagan administration.)

*  I resolve to not yell and throw things at the tv when my team is playing.  Even when Bo Boroski, the latest in a long line of Big Ten officials that includes the likes of Tom Rucker and Ed Hightower, are so mean to my sweet choir boys in Orange and Blue.  And don’t get me started on “TV” Teddy Valentine.  

*  I resolve to not throw up my hands in disgust and “quit watching and cheering” for my favorites when their performances are less than stellar.  Ok, truth in advertising, this one probably dates back to Gerald Ford…maybe even Richard Nixon.  Even when I was 12, I hated watching the teams I love lose.  So much so that it bothers me for days.  It’s a me problem,  I know. 

*  I resolve to try, again, to lose some tonnage.  Some folks are cursed with muffin tops, but I’m carrying around the winner of the 2019 Cake Wars competition under my tee shirt.  I’ll try again to exercise regularly and change up the diet a bit.  I just wonder why, if we’re not supposed to eat or drink it, beer, pizza and pasta taste so good?

*  I resolve to not intrude into my adult children’s lives, unless they ask for help.  Even though their mother and I have gone through everything they’re going through and are now wise and sage fonts of wisdom that we are just bursting to share, I vow to remain silently on the sidelines.  Ha! I couldn’t even type this one with a straight face.  

*  I resolve to continue to advocate for and patronize local businesses.  These places are run by amazing people with amazing stories, and if they go away, we’re all the poorer.  Buy local, when possible.   Besides, I’ll put a meal from one of our local restaurants against one from anywhere else. We’ve got some great choices around here.  You’re often not only benefitting the proprietor, but also the server, the cook and the cleanup crew, most of whom live here in town. 

*  I resolve to be a better husband for Mrs. HLS.   The isolation and social distancing aren’t easy for a guy who loves to hear and share other people’s stories, and it’s made me morose and short tempered at times.  She deserves better.

*  Finally, I resolve to keep putting words in print as long as they’ll have me.  I appreciate the fact that I’m able to put my weekly ramblings down on paper, and I know that without you, the reader, this little bit of soul cleansing wouldn’t be possible, and so I don’t need a resolution to continue to love and appreciate your readership.   Here’s to a great 2021.  One filled with mystery, to be sure, but also opportunity.

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