My Personal Side

By Craig Hastings
No guns and now government assigned electric transportation. Not only have we been watching the Democrat Presidential Candidates unite to support something called “The Green New Deal” that would eventually eliminate all gasoline powered vehicles, but, just this week, I heard candidate Andrew Yang suggest we wouldn’t choose an electric vehicle of our choice either. Yang didn’t explain specifically what he’s thinking, but I’m guessing the fleet of electric vehicles approved and owned by the federal government would be distributed according to some method of the government’s choosing. Someone like myself would really be in trouble. Not only am I a conservative/independent, but I’m also just an average income earning citizen. And by the time this next election is over and in full swing should a Democrat win, I could be retired and then a below average income citizen.  

Here’s my thoughts on who gets to drive what. If you’re a Democrat that openly supports your party with contributions totaling a million dollars plus, you earn ten times your donations, and your politics are favorably leaning toward the Federal level; you get a Tesla to drive. If you’re a Republican that secretly filters contributions to the Democratic party twice those of the million dollar plus contributions made by Democrats; you also get a Tesla to drive, but it has Toyota badges to camouflage the fact it’s a Tesla. This identifies you as a lesser rank in the new American order of citizenry.  

An average income and openly Democrat voter will be assigned an electric four door compact car of less voltage (power), distance to recharge far less than the Tesla elite, mandatory blue in color, and donkey decals one on each side, one on the hood, and one on the trunk lid. Manufacturer of unknown origin. Why unknown? Because these contracts will be awarded to the auto manufacturer who donates the most to the party each year. The average income and openly Republican will be assigned an electric two door compact car of less voltage than the average Democrat, distance to recharge less than the average Democrat, mandatory red in color, and decals of a dead elephant one on each side, one on the hood, and one on the trunk. 

If you’re someone who just doesn’t get out and vote; you’ll get an electric golf cart with no heat or air conditioning. If you have children, you will also be issued a pull behind two-wheel cart to haul your groceries home. You’ll pay an extra tax for the cart. The cart will be mandatory issue because you decided to have children and now your family is using up more oxygen than the family that doesn’t have children. All the extra tax money collected for the carts will be spent tearing down former President Trump’s border wall. This tax money and the money saved from firing all the Border Patrol Agents will be paid to the illegal immigrants to help tear down the wall. 

Finally, the rest of the American citizen voters e.g. me, who are below average income earners and can’t afford to contribute to the democrat party; we will get two-wheeled electric scooters. Have children? You’ll be issued and taxed on a basket that mounts nicely on your handlebars. You’ll get a big plastic flower to mount on the basket in the summer and a big plastic snowflake to mount on your basket in the winter. One scooter per family will be the order if you’re a 

Republican and two scooters if you’re a Democrat. The scooter will stand two people on it so you and your significant other can go out for dinner and a movie but remember your ride time battery charge will be less with the additional weight of a second rider. Your dinner will not include beef products though because these Democrat candidates will have eliminated all the cows because their collective gas blasts have contributed to air pollution, a clear violation of “The Green New Deal.” 

 After all of this, then comes Beto O’Rourke. “Hell yes we’re gonna take your AR 15s and AK 47s!” he screams. My response; “Just who the hell is we!?” I guarantee you this scrawny loud mouth won’t be any of the “We.” O’Rourke may be the only one on the stage who knows less about how the Federal Government runs than I do. O’Rourke has very clearly spoken the definition of “Them’s fight’n words son!” O’Rourke’s statement will divide this country like no other should he be elected President. If the order comes down from his White House to seize and destroy every AR 15 and every AK 47 that every American citizen owns, there will be a civil war in this country. 

In this column, I’ve been poking fun at the idea of eliminating fossil fuels, driving government issue electric vehicles, cow gas, border wall tear down, yes I have. I have because these “Green New Deal” ideas are so far out there it makes one question the intelligence of these candidates. Or are they all, everyone of them, just big liars?! In all of our lifetimes, this could never be accomplished without The United States first being taken over by one of the other world powers. Without fuel to operate our offences and defenses, America would be helpless and vulnerable to the rest of the world. But this gun confiscation idea of some Democrats better also be one big joke told as a lie! Any one of them could get away with banning the sale of anymore ARs and AKs, extended magazines for semi auto weapons, bump stocks, and new, larger caliber weapons, but dare not attempt to come to Americans’ homes and demand they hand over their lawfully purchased and owned semi automatic rifles, because innocent people will die or be seriously hurt in the process. 

I don’t have any objection to the government offering, again, offering to buy semi automatic weapons from Americans but do not demand they do so. Buy any guns they can get people to sell to them, I don’t care. I would want to know, by evidence of, what in the world will the Federal government do with all the guns they might buy from American citizens? Why isn’t there one, even just one Democrat candidate that campaigns like a real American citizen? One that respects the Founding Fathers ideals they constructed into our original constitution? I’m not so sure that a Democrat, younger, more conservative than the rest, and one that would publicly support everything President Trump has accomplished, could jump in this race and win as a Democrat!! Why? Because President Donald Trump tweets too many things that make people dislike him as a person!  

Here’s the opening statement he or she might make:  “Citizens of America, I’ve decided to run for President of our United States. I’m a Democrat that has always been open to the best ideas, both Republican and Democrat of how to make America better for all of the people without partisan bias. President Trump has done good things for America, is continuing to do good things for America and I recognize this. I would continue down a similar path of governing because it’s working for America right now. What I won’t do is divide us by making statements that defame, ridicule, embarrass, and hurt others simply because they do not agree with me. Investigate anything you wish about me without interference from me. Don’t care. Even should you knowing tell untruths about me or my past I will not engage any of you in personal attacks of my own. If I make a mistake, I’ll own it and do my best to make it right without excuse. This is the President I will do my best to become; wouldn’t you do the same? Vote America in 2020!”