HumankindNESS: Wedding Season

By Jennifer Richardson
Summer 2018 is here and another wedding season is well underway.

I love weddings and all the details that surround the moment that brings lives together. I have never been to any two weddings that were alike, but I love them all; I find myself smiling through each one I am privileged to attend.

I was reminded of this again this spring, when my middle daughter married the love of her life in an intimate and elegant ceremony. There is just nothing quite like the moment when a husband and wife appear where two betrothed people had stood.

Wedding season is fun, and we couldn’t be happier for all those taking their first steps down the path of a shared life. If you are getting married this year, congratulations!

But wedding season can also feel like a spotlight on those who are not part of a couple. Some would rather be single, and a wedding is just a reminder that they have dodged a bullet. Some are ambivalent about couple-hood and are focusing on other life goals. And some have walked this road before and are deciding how much of their heart they can offer again.

To those of you that may be looking for someone to build a life with, allow me to share a few words from a happily married old lady.

I see so many people trying desperately, figuratively and literally, to squeeze themselves into the perfect mold of someone they think someone else would want. I have a secret to share. You are working so hard for something you probably won’t want to keep.

If you radiate an artificial you, the relationships you do attract may be stressful and built on a thinly manufactured foundation that crumbles under the slightest pressure.

There is a fear of being authentic, because it may not be what the object of your affection is seeking, and letting your guard down can result in issues and conflict. It may seem as if being yourself literally turns some people away; embrace this lesson. It can and will save you time and heartache in the long run.

Allow the genuine you to surface. There is likely to be someone out there that will be drawn inexorably to the very unique combination of qualities you possess.

There are no perfect people, but there is someone who is genuinely perfect for you. That person may arrive, and you don’t want to miss out on something real because you were busy trying to be something fake. And you may lose relationships along the way, but loss can be a gift that is only recognized in retrospect.

Above all, enjoy the moment you are in. Where ever you find yourself along this timeline we call life, choose contentment. When you radiate a happiness and security with who you are, this is reflected into those whose paths you cross. And that reflection will resonate with the very person who can genuinely respond in kind.

And when you do find that person who helps you understand how two people can become one without losing one piece of each distinct person, it will be you who is smiling at everyone during wedding season.

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